The titular character in the patchwork novel Štefica Cvek in the Jaws of Life, the first story in Lend Me Your Character by Dubravka Ugresic (which we featured in the June Book Box, along with Jenny Erpenbeck’s Kairos and a bookish gift from Obvious State), is a humble young typist who is dealing with the age-old question, Isn’t there more to life?
“Can’t get your whipped cream whipped? Put down that whisk and add an egg white first, then put it in the fridge for ten minutes. You’ll be able to whip it firm and frothy in no time!”
“When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, don’t just count sheep. Air out the room if you’re hot and straighten out your bed. If the room is cold, pull on some thick, comfy socks. If that doesn’t help, make some chamomile tea and sweeten it with honey.”
The weight loss industry has made billions, a lot of it from targeting women’s insecurities about their bodies. We’re supposed to be neither too thin nor too fat. How do you scare women into smoking? Tell them they’ll get fat if they don’t. What if you’re too scrawny, without the curves needed to attract men? Some yeast tablets could come in handy. But if you think cigarettes are the worst thing advertised to women for weight loss, how about some amphetamine:
There were les extreme solutions, of course. A good woman knows how to discreetly hide her many physical flaws:
Do not forget about your private parts:
Above all, keep your man happy:
What do you think about these? Head over to Instagram to share a ridiculous piece of advice you or women in your life have been given. Whether it’s how to eat, look, dress, maintain the home, behave in relationships, or be a mother, let’s hear them!
